This Part In Life
by Shan Kyohaku
Summary: Being a stripper was hard but you had people to back you up. You didn't think that part of your life would ever be brought up again, especially in times like these. (Daryl x Reader)


Your family knew of what you've done before the turn and they were understanding and accepting of it. You were all too busy trying to survive to go around judging each others pasts. You were grateful for it. They didn't see you any less, if anything, they saw you as an important part of them that they need to survive as you were their go-to for defense. You needed them and they needed you and that was that.

But when Daryl found out what you have done, it was different. He couldn't look you in the eyes, he talked to you less than before and he didn't talk to you all that much from the start. You got sick of it and so when you two were partnered up for a run it was an awkward silence all the way there and it got on your last nerve.

"Is there anything bothering you, Daryl?" You asked in a mocked curiosity.

"The hell you talkin' 'bout?" He said pretending to be vigilant and safe as he looked straight ahead at the road.

"I'm sorry, I meant to say is there's something bothering me, Daryl, and I feel like I gotta share." You turned to him with squinted eyes that were ready to stare at him into oblivion.

"Well, it can wait when we get back, alright."

"No no no no no. Because by the time we get home, you're gonna avoid me as much as possible and because of that, we won't talk about what's bothering me. So you either let me share my feelings or I swear, I'll knock the hell outta of ya."

"Dammit, woman, ya gotta be so violent all the time?" He yapped back in equal attitude. If you two weren't so hot headed and stubborn you would've gotten along just fine.

"Well I gotta with the way things are now and I had to with me as a stripper." you said casually looking back at the road and then back at Daryl as you tried to bait him. There. That's it. You can see Daryl get rigid and you knew that you weren't imagining it. He definitely didn't like the stripper bit.

You let out a huff and went back to giving him furrow brows and eyes that could slaughter a man. "Oh my god…" He only takes a quick peek at you as he continues to drive on. "Do actually have a problem with me being a stripper back then?!"

"No."

"Then why the hell can't you look me in the eyes?" You see him lick his lips and his eyes bop back and forth like a match of ping pong. "Are you that much of an asshole that what you know now has lost your respect for me?" It hurt. Usually it didn't but this time it did and it was because this man, who was now your family, didn't see you as the strong woman that you see yourself as.

"That ain't it." He responded firmly.

"Then what is it?" You ask in a calmer tone.

"It's cause I'm trying to show you respect."

"By not talking to me? By not looking at me as a person?"

He took a moment to think up how to word his response. "Yes. I thought if I did, I'd be invading your bubble. That I'd be invading you as a person." That's when you understood. He didn't treat you that way because he lost his respect for you but because he had no idea how to interact with women like that. He was like a little boy that was caught with something naughty and was showing his mom he was a good boy. He was just showing that he was a good guy and he was trying his hardest not to make you uncomfortable.

You looked back at the road ahead and processed what he said. "Well, you're doing a real shit job of it…" Daryl took a small peek at you as he felt his mood change. He was trying and somehow it still wasn't good enough. What was he supposed to do now? "I know you're a good guy Daryl and I know you wouldn't do anything to make me feel off. I mean, you've never given me a reason to be nervous or cautious around you. If anything, I feel safer around you, even if I can hold my own. You're better than the guys I use to handle and trust me, if I handled you, you'd know you've done something wrong." He peeked at you once more and then nodded his head, his hand moving up to cover his mouth. He was glad that you didn't feel threatened by him because he wanted to take care of his family and he couldn't risk having someone run off whenever they're stuck with him or in this case, he didn't want to have you hate his guts especially when he was trying to make you as comfortable as possible.

"It's just, this thing that you're doing right now, doesn't make me feel all that great. I feel like…one of them, like something lower than dirt and that's not how I want to be treated." This time Daryl fully turns his head to look at you, giving you a closer look. Of course you don't want to feel like that and he should know better.

The rest of the ride was quiet but the atmosphere has shifted. It was better. It felt as if there was improvement.

"So why'd you try so hard to make me feel all comfy and whatever?" You asked as you scouted behind Daryl for any danger coming your way. "I mean, there's Carol and that whole thing at the farm, Carl and Rick with Lori, Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Hershell…There are plenty of people that could use your sweet Dixon comfort."

He shrugs his shoulders as he continues to walk ahead with his crossbow aimed in front. You had a jovial tone when asking your question so you were more or less expecting him to tease back a bit but he seemed to want to be sheltered from the question, that is until he finally answered. "I dunno know, guess 'cause it's probably something you dealt with for a long while, unlike the others." It made sense now that he said it. You were ready to take his answer as is until he went further into it.

"Meryl use to make me go to the strip club with 'im. Not really my kinda place but he used to love to pick up women there. They were okay with it but there were times I'd seen other guys get handsy with 'em and…" He paused as he looked around the corner of the building making sure not to get ahead of himself as he went down memory lane. "It made feel weird all over seein' 'em bein' treated like that ya know?" You just smiled to yourself as your assumption of Daryl were correct. He is a good guy, just the way he was talking about it was proof enough to you.

And Daryl felt he owes you an explanation. Usually he wouldn't try but the look in your eyes when you explained how he made you feel was enough to apologize to you in that way. He understood how you felt and he didn't need anyone else feeling that way.

"I get it. I mean, a job's a job but I did make a few friends from it and everytime I see a guy asking them to sit on their lap when they tell them they don't want to or how they touch them when they're strictly not allowed too, it really does boil my blood. I'd do the kicking to the curb but then again I needed the job. So yeah, I get how it feels sometimes to stand around and do nothing."

It goes silent again as Daryl processes what you say. That's what it is, wasn't it? That he just let them rough up those girls and he didn't bother to do anything? Because he didn't want to ruin Merle's fun? Or maybe because he was that much of bitch back then to try. He didn't know exactly but he understood another bit of himself right now. All thanks to you.

After arriving to the convenient store that you both planned to scope out, killing the only two walkers that were in there, Daryl only had one question. He didn't know why he needed to know the answer to it but he wanted to ask either way. He just hoped you wouldn't snap at him for letting his curiosity take over. "I noticed that whenever Merle brought them over, they always left with some extra cash….Did you ever use ta, ya know…"

"Hell no, I mean, I knew I was in hard times but I didn't want to give myself up like that, especially to men that don't deserve it." He looks at you as you cross the room to look through the shelves, you not noticing his wandering eyes. For some reason there was a smirk on his face. Maybe it was the fact that you were so strong now that he wanted to know if you were the same back then. It was nice to know that even after all of the world was down the drain, some people haven't changed themselves or their principles.

"I already gave myself up to all of them on a pole, they don't need to take another part of me after the show." You can feel him being shoulder to shoulder with you as you looked towards him for what he wanted.

"I don't think any less of you. I just didn't want to be the reason for making you weak." This time you nodded your head and gave him a small smile. As brief as he reasoning was, it was something that got the point across. It explained and answered all the questions you had on Daryl's intentions and although you wouldn't admit it, it was flattering to see Dixon trying to be all sweet, caring, and shy around you.

"Thank you. I…appreciate how much you care about this little bit of me." He only nodded having reached his limit of sharing today. You both were now solid and by the time you two got back to the prison, the laws of nature on how yourself and a Dixon were to act had now changed.

From then on, you and Daryl understood each other to a level that the others couldn't have reached with the both of you. Neither of you had even expected that to happen but it did and you both were fairly satisfied at the dynamic shift. The both of you understood the meaning of "rough" and therefore, there wasn't a moment where you doubted each other's understanding of feelings and past traumas. Not only that but you two felt as if you were each other's equals and right now, those were hard to come by.

Although you two didn't show how close you were or talk like friends would, you both know what you have and at the moment, you were fine how things are. You didn't care what it was or what could be because you were living in the now and whatever happens in the now, happens. Darly didn't mind it either. He understood what the two of you have and he rather not mess it up. It was some unspoken understanding that you two had each other and whenever one of you were overflowing with pain and emotion the other was there whether they wanted to talk about it or just be in the others company and usually it was the latter.

The move to Alexandria was strange. None of them fully understood what was going on out there and therefore they didn't understand what was at risk. You didn't bother trying to get to know any of them, right now, your family came first in this new environment. After Woodbury, the prison, Terminus, there was no time to get all comfortable. They were inviting and kind but you've seen that act before and It looked safe, sure, but for how long? You understood why you were all cautious but the people of Alexandria didn't.

Eventually though, all of you calmed your jitters down for a bit and began to adjust the way Alexandria is. You all worked your assigned jobs and soon enough it started to feel like a place to really thrive. To really protect. It started to feel normal and as of now, you were in between on either feeling ok with it or not. At the moment you were heading back from the pantry in order to make yourself and the rest of your roommates dinner for the evening, carrying a small basket in one hand.

"Hey Y/N!" You stopped and turned around to the source of the unfamiliar voice with a curious frown on your face. There came a man jogging up to you as he tried to catch up. Now looking at him, you can tell he was definitely not familiar to you. "Glad I caught you there!"

"Yyyeah," You looked him up and down with your brows continuing its downward voyage on your face. "I'm sorry but who are you?"

"We never were fully introduced. I'm Colby. I, uh, meant to try and come by and talk to you back at Deanna's party but you left before I had the chance." Seems right. You only stayed there for a few minutes as you still weren't sure about Alexandria. Crowds weren't your thing so you left as soon as no one noticed, at least, that's what you thought. After that, Daryl was right out front and once he knew who it was who came out, you two headed for home together until Aaron offered dinner.

He stuck his hand out for you to shake as you only looked down and then back up at him. You slowly placed your hand on his to return the gesture, not taking the cautious look away from your face. He could feel the tension that you were emitting and nervously took his hand back.

"Right…Nice to meet you…" You say in an unimpressed tone. You already didn't like him. He struck you as a prick but you knew better than to judge anyone instantly. It was a terrible habit of yours but it did prove to be a useful skill whenever you all ran into a stranger. Somehow you were always right of their character. "Listen, I gotta get back home and start dinner, so if you don't mind…" You say wanting to cut your chat short as you didn't want to spend anymore time trying to make small talk with someone you obviously didn't sit well with.

Before you go any further, Colby grabs ahold of your wrist to turn you back to look at him. You only roll your eyes to see what lame discussion he desperately wanted to let out. "Um, ok," He lets out a nervous airy chuckle. "Let me be honest, I think you're gorgeous and I only wanted to ask if maybe you had a boyfriend or something before I, you know…" he shrugs. You give him an incredulous look as the notion shocked you. That's it. Time to shut this down.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend and to be honest, I'd rather you not try to do anything to change that." Pulling your wrist back to your side you walked to the direction of your shared home with a huff. There you go being right again.

"Right, sorry! I guess hot flings are more than what you're used to!" He shouted from behind you as you can hear the smirk in his voice. Stopping in your tracks, you took a moment to process what he had just said. Tilting your head to the side, you processed that that was an insult.

You put the basket down by your feet, stood back up and then turned around to face him. You walked towards him with a bit more stomp in your feet. You smirked back at his pompous face playing along with what he was getting at and asked, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well I figured that since you used to be a stripper, you might just want one night stands. I knew a couple of strippers that were into that. I mean, obviously money's useless now but I don't mind just giving you a good time whenever you like." You only smiled looking down at the ground and then back up to him as a laugh was released from you.

You stood back biting your lip with crossed arms. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. Dancing on a pole, you must be good in bed and I even bet they tipped you extra for it." Your heart beat rapidly as you felt his hands land on your hips as he leaned in to whisper in your ear. "Olivia will do anything for me and I promise if you show me a good time, that dinner at your place would be like going to a five star restaurant." That's when he went to squeeze your ass with both his hands.

Your hands when to his shoulders to slowly push him away in order to give him a flirtatious look. He only looked at you with such assurance as if he knew how this would play out.

Colby fell to the ground the second your knee came in contact with his crotch and once he landed hard on the pavement you went right on top of him, giving him punch after punch. How dare he think of you in that way. How dare that he thought you were easy pickings. He reminded you of all the men in those clubs, the ones who bothered you, who bothered your friends. He reminded you of all the men you try to start a relationship with and the moment you disclosed that part of your life, they thought you would be a piece of cake. Colby reminded you of all the people that ever looked at you differently, that talked to you differently, that wouldn't ever give you a second chance or even chance to start with. With each time your fist came in contact with him, you let out all the years of pain and anger that you kept in you as you never were able to let it out in the old world. Right now, Colby's face was going to be the nice little outlet for your feelings.

You didn't realize that Colby's cries for help went deaf in your ears and the next thing you knew, there were strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulling you away. You thrashed and tried to fight your way back to him but as soon as sound was traveling back to your ears, you realized that it was Rick pulling you back and telling you that it was only him. He continued his hold until you were a good distance away from the crowd that you didn't realize had circled around you two. From there, Rick told you to wait inside of the house while he try and calm everyone down.

Unlike you, Daryl was on high alert once he heard Colby's cries. He instantly thought that a walker found their way inside but once he turned his head to the direction of the cries he noticed a crowd and he already knew what that meant. He and Merle had their fair share of fights so he went to see who the troublemakers were. Jogging over to who it was his sight caught Carl who was standing a good distance away from the commotion. "Hey, what's goin' on?" Carl whipped his head with startled eyes and opened his mouth to answer but before he could his father beat him to it as Daryl witnessed Rick pulling you away with limbs flying like a feral animal. Daryl instantly went to protective mode as he pushed his way through. There were people helping Colby pull himself up. A black eye, some bruises and blood coming from his nose as well as a couple of cuts to adorn his face.

"What'd you do!?" Daryl said with his chest puffed out and a shove to greet Colby. The anger was burning behind his eyes as he huffed out some air like a raging bull ready to advance.

"What did I do!? Don't you mean what did she do!? Did you not see how she just attacked me! Look at my damn face!" He exclaimed as he pointed to it to make sure Daryl was actually looking.

"Nah, she wouldn't do shit like that unless she had too! You done somethin' to her, now what the hell was it!?" His fingers tightly gripped the front of Colby's shirt as he pulled him close to his face, letting him know he wasn't playing any games.

"The damn bitch flipped! I only asked if she wanted to hook up!"

"And?!"

"And?! Listen man, I don't know if you heard the news but she was a stripper and God knows I wasn't gonna let that slip by! I just offered her more rations as compensation!" Down the ground Colby went as Daryl delivered a right hook directly on his black eye. He goes at him for a bit until he pulls him back up "with his face up close to his and then gives another punch to his gut.

"She don't owe you shit and she don't need shit from you neither! You ever come near her again, yer walker bait!"

"Daryl!" There was a hand on his shoulder and he knew it was Rick trying to break up another fight. "Daryl! Put him down, he's already been through the ringer once. Come on, man, let me handle this." The only sound left was Daryl's heavy breathing and his eyes destroying the confidence Colby once had. His fingers relaxed and his knuckles returned to their normal color once he dropped Colby to the ground.

He gives a pointed finger to Colby. "You ain't shit. Yer just an asshole lookin' for an easy target." As soon as those left his lips, he spat at the ground near him. Stomping away, he picked up the basket that was left on the ground and headed towards the shared house.

Inside you were there pacing back and forth in the kitchen unaware of Daryl entering and placing your items on the counter. He didn't announce his presence at first, he only watched you to see how you were doing and right now you seemed a lot more calmer than before. He walked up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. You jumped slightly as you thought you were alone but calmed down once you knew it was just Daryl.

You looked down with your hands on your hips with the both of you standing in silence as Daryl decided to let you straighten up your thoughts. "How badly beaten is he?"

"Don't think he'll be seein' too good outta his left eye for awhile." He smirked. "How you feelin'?"

You shrugged and took a peek out the window. "Still feel like beating the shit out of him. For fun this time."

"A violent woman you are…" You laughed looking down at the floor and then taking notice of Daryl's right hand. It was slightly bruised with some small specks of blood on it.

You grabbed ahold of his hand inspecting his knuckles a little more. You only smiled as your thumbs rubbed softly against them, some of the blood smudging against his skin. You looked back up at him biting your bottom lip to hide your obvious joy. "Me? You went ahead to beat a man when he's down."

"So? He had it comin' fer messin' with ya." He hid his eyes under his hair as you went back to soothing his knuckles with your fingers.

"Aw, you looking out for me…?" you teased.

"I am so sorry Y/N!" was the next thing you heard before Daryl had the chance to respond with both your eyes turning to a distraught Carl. You instantly let go of Daryl's hand and took a step towards the boy scared of what exactly he was sorry for. "I swear I didn't mean to just say whatever. I was just hanging out with the other kids and we were talking about what everyone did and I just thought that if I told them who we use to be, they wouldn't be so scared of us and I guess Ron went and told-"

"Carl! Carl! It's alright! I'm not mad because he knew who I used to be. I was mad because he knew what I use be and thought he could get something out of it. You didn't do anything wrong." You place a hand on Carl's shoulder to comfort him. "I don't care who else knows, If they start judging me well, it's gonna be tough luck for them later on. You don't have anything to worry about. Besides, I think all of Alexandria knows not to mess around with me on that." You smirked. Carl let out the air that he was holding in as he nodded his head in understanding, his blue eyes turning from worry to calm waves in that moment.

"I'm still sorry. That was your story to tell to whoever you decide you want to talk to about it." You only pull Carl in for a hug, upset that he worked himself up about it but happy to see that he was growing into an honest and brave man, something to definitely be proud of.

"It's alright Carl. It's fine." Pulling away, you go ahead and tell him to hang out more with his friends, that dinner would be ready in a bit. He takes his leave and you stand there watching him go.

"You sure it's fine?" Daryl asks as he watched the exchange happen in the background.

You snap out of it and turn around to face him. "Yeah. It's fine. I'm gonna get dinner started. I'll let you know when it's done." You give him a small smile. Despite your words and your movements, Daryl only thinks otherwise. You have things you still want to let out but he knew better than to push and pry, so he leaves you be with your distraction. Maybe you'll come out with what you want to say when you're ready.

.~.~.~.~.~.

Dinner was made, dinner was eaten, everyone had their downtime and off to their own rooms. Everyone found out what happened earlier in the afternoon and they didn't know whether or not to bring it up and discuss but you looked to be in a better mood and in result, have simultaneously decided to not talk about it at all.

You were only in your room preparing yourself for bed but you couldn't help but sit on the mattress and look out the window. For some reason, you thought you were okay after all that happened today. You kept telling yourself that. You even tried to forget that it happened at all but once you were finally alone with your thoughts on your bed, the facade finally came down.

It hurt. For some reason it still hurts even after all this time, even after all that's happened. You didn't even realized that you had tears streaking your cheeks until you heard a knock on the door. You scrambled to wipe your face clean, clearing your throat and then responding for them to enter.

You had your head away from noticing where your hands were. Daryl stepped in closing the door behind him softly. He only stood there not really knowing what to do. He never knew but it was you. And you don't cry often but seeing you like this and knowing what it was about, it didn't sit well with him to leave you like this. He walked up to where you sat but stayed at a distance to where you had your own space.

You looked up at him and he could see that you have definitely been crying. You just looked down in shame feeling ridiculous at how emotional you're being. You could feel your bed dip down to the side slowly knowing that Daryl took a seat next to you with his hands clasped and his elbows resting on his knees. You only went on crying until you didn't have anymore tears left and your sniffling subsiding.

Once the room went quiet with your crying ceased, Daryl was the first to speak up. "Feelin' like shit, aren't ya?"

"Was it obvious?" You said with a small chuckle as you wiped the remaining tears.

"Nah, just took a guess." You only bumped shoulders with him so he would know you got his joke. All went silent again as you tried to gather your thoughts. You tried to pinpoint what the exact thought in your head caused you to fall apart.

"It still hurts. I mean, it's bullshit to cry about because there are a lot more worse things that we gotta figure out but…I don't know…it's stupid…"

"Nah, it ain't. You got every right to be upset. It's been somethin' you've dealin' with for a better part of your life. I mean, I don't know if you ever gave yourself some time to let it out but if you gotta, you gotta. It ain't stupid, Y/N." You only rested your head against his built shoulder, feel at ease from his words. Being the man that never really shared his thoughts and feelings as often as he should, the thought of him seeing you like this gave you the idea that he probably thought you were weak.

"I just…I don't get it with other people…."

"Me neither." You slithered your arm through Daryl's, comforting yourself with his warmth. For some reason Daryl didn't think anything of the contact like he usually would. He would usually flinch or pull away but he only melted when you touched him. He guessed it was because he knew deep in his subconcious that you wouldn't do anything to harm him. He also took a guess to think that if he did, you would've taken it the wrong way and the last thing you need was having your friend wriggle his way out if your grip.

The both of you only sat there in each others comfort for a bit. Other good friends would actually talk things through but you and Daryl only needed each others company to get whatever it is you have off your chest.

"You always looking out for me?"

Daryl didn't feel uncomfortable at the question like he did earlier. He only took a moment to think on how to answer it before he responded. His hand found yours and soon his fingers entangled with yours, gripping it tight.

"'Course. Always have, always will. Too good to let anyone treat like shit. You deserve better," You looked at his shy blue eyes while he looked back at yours. "Even if you think ya don't."

He wasn't nervous. It was strange because he should have been. It was in his nature to be uncomfortable with affection as he never grew up with an affectionate family to teach him it was okay to display it but he wasn't. He only felt the will and need to do so. He leaned with both of your foreheads touching and then his nose rubbing gently against yours. You didn't realize your other hand went to rest on his cheek as your hot breath hit against his lips. And then a small peck was given to test the waters. You didn't pull away so Daryl went in for another and then another until he left his lips against yours for much longer. You caved to this weakness and did what he couldn't do soon enough and actually kiss him with your head tilted and taking more from him than what you thought he wasn't able to give.

When you both pulled away, there was a sense of resistance. Neither of you wanted to back away because for some reason you felt that you both weren't ready for the immediate aftermath. The afterthoughts. Daryl was worried he took advantage of you in your moment of weakness while you worried that you he kissed you because you looked like a kicked puppy that he needs to take care of.

At first you couldn't look at each other in the eyes but it was too much pain in not knowing how the other was feeling, so you were the first to look up and he looked down at you. Daryl could feel your thumb rubbing against his cheek and though he couldn't find the words to express how he felt, he simply placed his hand on top of yours, keeping you in place. You only closed your eyes not wanting this feeling to go away.

Daryl leaned his forehead against yours once more and both just closed your eyes enjoying the company that you two were in. He only gave you another small peck and then pulled you in for a well deserved hug. You held onto each other like this for awhile until you both fell asleep with yourselves still intertwined to each other.


End file.
